No celebrity sparked a cult following like the one and only Chuck Norris. Thanks to his tough guy reputation, he seems to have had a new career inspiring memes and jokes.
Today I am going to share some of his best jokes for you to enjoy and share with your friends.
- Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
- Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
- If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
- Chuck Norris breathes air, five times a day.
- In the beginning there was nothing … then Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked nothing and told it to get a job.
- When God said, “Let there be light!” Chuck Norris said, “Say please.”
- Chuck Norris has a mug of nails instead of coffee in the morning.
- If Chuck Norris were to travel to an alternate dimension in which there was another Chuck Norris and they both fought, they would both win.
- The dinosaurs looked at Chuck Norris the wrong way once. You know what happened to them.
- Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
- Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light
- If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, “Two seconds till.” After you ask, “Two seconds to what?” he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
- Chuck Norris appeared in the “Street Fighter II” video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this “glitch,” Chuck Norris replied, “That’s no glitch.”
- Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse kick related deaths have increased 13,000 percent.
- Chuck Norris does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold.
- Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
- There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
- The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
- Chuck Norris recently had the idea to sell his pee as a canned beverage. It’s now called Red Bull.
- If paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, what beats all 3 at the same time? Chuck Norris.
That’s it for now. Hope you enjoy.
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