Food Jokes
Culinary humor and food jokes
103 jokes in this category
I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already.
Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese!
I donut care what anyone says, you're the best!
Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first.
I followed my heart and it led me to the fridge.
Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crumbly.
What's a vampire's favorite fruit? A blood orange.
Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn't peeling well.
I'm soy into you.
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
Why did the grape stop in the middle of the road? It ran out of juice.
What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry.
Why don't eggs tell jokes? They'd crack each other up.
What's a potato's favorite form of transportation? The gravy train.
Why did the yogurt go to the art gallery? Because it was cultured.
What do you call a sleeping pizza? A piZZZa.
Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi.
What's the best thing to put into a pie? Your teeth.
Why did the lettuce win the race? It was ahead.
Why don't melons get married? Because they cantaloupe.
I'm on a seafood diet. I see food and I eat it.
Why did the baker go to the bank? He needed dough.
What do you call a violent breakfast? A cereal killer.
Why did the Oreo go to the dentist? Because he lost his filling.
What kind of tea is hard to swallow? Reality.
What do you call a sad coffee? Depresso.
Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
Why are cooks so mean? They beat eggs and whip cream.
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where's popcorn?
What do you call a cheese that likes to shoot hoops? Swiss.
Why did the tomato go out with the prune? Because he couldn't find a date.
Why do French people eat snails? They don't like fast food.
What did the gingerbread man use to fix his bed? Cookie sheets.
What do you call a peanut in a spacesuit? An astro-nut.
Why did the butcher work extra hours? To make ends meat.
What kind of room has no doors or windows? A mushroom.
What do you call a noodle who feels alone? Cannelloni.
What is a ghost's favorite fruit? Booberries.
What do you call a sad cheese? Blue cheese.
Why did the student eat his homework? Teacher said it was a piece of cake.
What do you call blueberries playing the guitar? A jam session.
What kind of vegetable is good at martial arts? Broccoli Lee.
What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish? Every morning you rise and shine.
What do you call a tortilla that loves to dance? A salsa dancer.
Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? He pasta way.
What do you call a fast fungus? A mush-vroom.
Why did the tofu cross the road? To prove he wasn't chicken.
I like to make jokes about sausages. They're the wurst.
How do you fix a broken tomato? Tomato paste.
What did the lettuce say to the celery? Quit stalking me.
What do you get when you play tug-of-war with a pig? Pulled pork.
What does a nosey pepper do? Gets jalapeño business.
What do you call an avocado that's been blessed? Holy guacamole.
Why shouldn't you tell secrets in a cornfield? Too many ears.
What is a math teacher's favorite dessert? Pi.
Why did the banana go to the hair salon? It had split ends.
What do you call a train carrying bubblegum? A chew-chew train.
What is a cannibal's favorite type of food? Finger food.
Why did the cookie cry? Because his mom was a wafer so long.
What happens when you tell an egg a joke? It cracks up.
What did the sushi say to the bee? Wasabee.
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch.
What do you call a cheese that is crazy? Emmental.
What is a pretzel's favorite dance? The twist.
Why did the lettuce blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
What's a skeleton's favorite snack? Ribs.
What do you call a hot dog on a cold day? A chili dog.
Why did the orange stop? It ran out of juice.
What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate? A candy baa.
What do you call a messy meatball? A sloppy joe.
What do you call a fast food restaurant for chickens? KFC.
Why did the vegetable call the plumber? It had a leak.
What is a vampire's favorite fruit? A neck-tarine.
What do you call a wealthy nut? A cash-ew.
What do you call a sick lemon? A lemon-aid.
What do you call a cheese that saves the world? Feta.
What do you call a sarcastic spaghetti? A pasta-tude.
What is a boxer's favorite drink? Punch.
What do you call a laughing jar of mayonnaise? LMAO.
What do you call a fake stone? Sham rock.
What do you call a nervous witch? A twitch.
How do you make a gold soup? Put 24 carrots in it.
What is a rabbit's favorite dance? The bunny hop.
What do you call a dinosaur that eats curry? A mega-sore-ass.
What do you call a potato with glasses? A spec-tater.
What do you call a cheese that likes to listen to music? Brie-once.
What do you call a stolen yam? A hot potato.
What do you call a sad cranberry? A blue-berry.
What did the bread do on vacation? It loafed around.
Why did the golfer eat cake? He wanted a slice.
What is a snake's favorite subject? HISS-tory.
Why did the coffee report a crime? It got mugged.
What do you call a bear with no socks? Barefoot.
Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn't peeling well.
What does a nut say when it sneezes? Cashew.
Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon.
What kind of candy is never on time? Choco-late.
Why do peppers hate winter? They get a little chili.
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.