Tech Jokes
Technology and programming jokes
105 jokes in this category
Why do programmers prefer dark mode? Because light attracts bugs!
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None, that's a hardware problem.
I would tell you a UDP joke, but you might not get it.
There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary and those who don't.
A SQL query walks into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks... "Can I join you?"
Why do Java developers wear glasses? Because they don't C#.
What's a programmer's favorite hangout place? Foo Bar.
Why did the developer go broke? Because he used up all his cache.
How do you comfort a JavaScript bug? You console it.
What do you call a programmer from Finland? Nerdic.
Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas? Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25.
A programmer's wife tells him: "Run to the store and pick up a loaf of bread. If they have eggs, get a dozen." The programmer comes home with 12 loaves of bread.
Why was the JavaScript developer sad? Because he didn't Node how to Express himself.
What's the object-oriented way to become wealthy? Inheritance.
Why do programmers hate nature? It has too many bugs.
What did the router say to the doctor? It hurts when IP.
Why did the programmer quit his job? Because he didn't get arrays.
Why do Python programmers have low self-esteem? They're constantly comparing self to others.
How do you tell HTML from HTML5? Try it out in Internet Explorer. Did it work? No? It's HTML5.
What do you call 8 hobbits? A hobbyte.
Why did the database administrator leave his wife? She had one-to-many relationships.
What's the best thing about a Boolean? Even if you're wrong, you're only off by a bit.
Why did the functions stop calling each other? Because they had constant arguments.
What's a programmer's favorite snack? Microchips.
Why do programmers prefer iOS development? Because they don't like Java.
What do you call a programmer who doesn't comment their code? A monster.
Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.
What do you call a computer that sings? A Dell.
Why did the PowerPoint presentation cross the road? To get to the other slide.
What's the difference between a programmer and a user? A programmer solves problems you didn't know you had in ways you don't understand.
What did the Java code say to the C code? You've got no class.
Why don't programmers like to go outside? The sunlight causes too many reflections.
What's a computer's favorite beat? An algo-rhythm.
Why did the developer stay calm during the outage? Because they had exception handling.
What do you call a programmer who loves to travel? A remote worker.
Why did the computer show up to work late? It had a hard drive.
What's a hacker's favorite season? Phishing season.
Why did the smartphone need glasses? It lost all its contacts.
What do you call a computer superhero? A screen saver.
What do programmers do when they're cold? They stand in the corner, because it's 90 degrees.
Why did the computer go to therapy? It had too many bytes of emotional baggage.
How do you propose to a programmer? "C++ me?"
What did the spider do on the computer? He made a web-site.
Why did the computer go to the dentist? It had Bluetooth decay.
Why was the robot so angry? Someone kept pushing his buttons.
Why did the computer sneeze? It had a virus.
What is a computer's favorite animal? A RAM.
Why did the Wi-Fi signal break up with the computer? There was no connection.
What do you call a computer floating in the ocean? A Dell Rolling in the Deep.
Why did the laptop go to the beach? To surf the net.
What is an alien's favorite key on the keyboard? The space bar.
Why was the phone charged with battery? It was a power trip.
Why did the developer buy a radiator? To help him let off some steam.
I have a joke about a time travel algorithm, but you didn't like it.
Why was the computer quiet? It lost its voice recognition.
What is a computer's favorite singer? A-Dell.
Why did the chatbot go to school? To learn how to process natural language.
How does a computer get drunk? It takes screenshots.
Why are assembly programmers always soaking wet? They work below C-level.
What is the most popular programming language? Profanity.
Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a terminal illness.
Why did the blockchain go to the bank? To check its balance.
What is a computer's favorite type of music? Disc-o.
Why don't keyboards sleep? They have two shifts.
What do you call a group of 8 bits? A byte to eat.
Why did the developer go to the beach? To surf the net.
Why was the cell phone wearing glasses? Because it lost its contacts.
What do you call a computer that talks? A Dell.
What did the blog post say to the comment? I like your feedback.
Why did the SEO expert cross the road? To get to the first page of Google.
What do you call a computer that is singing? Adele.
Why did the computer break up with the internet? There was no connection.
What is a hacker's favorite season? Phishing season.
Why was the robot so tired? He had a hard drive.
What do you call a computer floating in the ocean? A specific ocean.
How do you stop a computer from charging? Take away its credit card.
Why don't computers have brothers? Because they have transistors.
What do you call a computer that eats? A byte.
Why did the computer go to the doctor? It had a virus.
What do you call a computer that sneezes? Aachoo.
Why did the computer call the plumber? It had a leak in the data pipe.
Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.
What do you call a computer that is hot? A baked apple.
Why did the computer go to the dance? To do the algo-rhythm.
What do you call a computer that is broken? A crash.
Why did the computer go to the gym? To get better cache.
Why did the computer go to the library? To find some information.
Why did the computer go to the movies? To see a screening.
Why did the computer go to the park? To play on the slide.
Why did the computer go to the party? To have a byte.
Why did the computer go to the restaurant? To get a byte to eat.
Why did the computer go to the store? To buy a mouse.
Why did the computer go to the zoo? To see the mouse.
Why did the computer have a fever? It had a virus.
Why did the computer have a headache? It had too many windows open.
Why did the computer have a stomachache? It ate too many cookies.
Why did the computer have a toothache? It had a bluetooth connection.
Why did the computer have bad breath? It didn't brush its cache.
Why did the computer have no friends? It was anti-social.
Why did the computer have no money? It spent it all on software.
Why did the computer have no clothes? It was in a software mode.
Why did the computer lay an egg? It was a chicken.
Why did the computer scream? It stepped on a Lego.
Why did the computer sleep all day? It was in sleep mode.
Why did the computer smell bad? It didn't take a bath.