Sports Jokes
Sports and athletic humor
103 jokes in this category
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
Why don't basketball players go on vacation? They'd get called for traveling.
What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarterback.
What's a boxer's favorite drink? Punch.
Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two tired.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.
Why don't tennis players ever get married? Because love means nothing to them.
What's a cheerleader's favorite color? Yeller.
Why did the baseball player go to jail? Because he stole second base.
What do you call a fish that plays basketball? A ball hog.
What's a runner's favorite subject? Jog-raphy.
Why don't skeletons play sports? They don't have the guts.
What do you call a snowman playing baseball? A frost baseman.
Why did the soccer player bring string to the game? So he could tie the score.
What's a swimmer's favorite game? Pool.
Why did the basketball player sit on the sideline and sketch pictures of chickens? He was trying to draw fowls.
What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.
Why don't oysters share their pearls? Because they're shellfish.
What's a golfer's favorite letter? Tee.
Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All the fans left.
Why are ghosts bad at soccer? They have no body to play with.
Why did the golfer hate cake? Because he might get a slice.
Why can't you play sports in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs.
Why did the baseball player bring a rope? To tie the score.
Why are basketball courts always wet? Because the players dribble a lot.
What is the hardest part about skydiving? The ground.
Why did the golfer bring a ladder? To get to the high tea.
Why did the basketball player go to jail? Because he shot the ball.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball? Catch you later.
Why is tennis such a loud sport? Because every player raises a racket.
What is a goalie's favorite snack? Chips and dip.
Why do bowlers make good employees? Because they always have time to spare.
What goes all the way around a baseball field but never moves? The fence.
Why are swimmers good at math? Because they know how to dive into problems.
What looks like half a soccer ball? The other half.
Why did the golfer change his socks? Because he had a hole in one.
Why do basketball players love donut shops? Because they like to dunk.
What is a banana's favorite gymnastics move? The splits.
Why don't grasshoppers watch football? They prefer cricket.
Why did the team have a ghost as a goalie? Because he had a lot of spirit.
What is a mosquito's favorite sport? Skin diving.
Why did the golfer yell "Fore"? Because "Three" didn't sound right.
Why is Cinderella bad at soccer? Because she runs away from the ball.
What position does a ghost play in soccer? Ghoul-keeper.
Where do zombies go swimming? The Dead Sea.
Why was the piano player good at baseball? He had the perfect pitch.
Why are fish never good at tennis? Because they don't like getting close to the net.
Why did the referee get fired? He was a whistle-blower.
What is a spider's favorite sport? Fly fishing.
Where do catchers sit at lunch? Behind the plate.
Why did the skeleton go to the sports bar? To get a ribbed steak.
What tea do hockey players drink? Penal-tea.
Why did the tennis player get really hot? Because of all the matches.
Why do golfers hate the dark? Because they can't find their drive.
What is the best place to shop for a soccer jersey? New Jersey.
Why did the football quit the team? He was tired of being kicked around.
What animal is best at hitting a baseball? The bat.
Why are hockey players like goldfish? They can't stay on the ice for more than 45 seconds.
What do you call a person who walks over you? A rug-by player.
Why did the baseball player bring a pacifier? Because he wanted to pitch a fit.
Why don't mountains play sports? They're already at their peak.
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
Why is a baseball field hot? Because all the fans left.
What is a runner's favorite subject in school? Jog-raphy.
Why don't skeletons play sports? They don't have the guts.
What do you call a snowman playing baseball? A frost baseman.
Why did the soccer player bring string to the game? So he could tie the score.
What is a swimmer's favorite game? Pool.
Why did the basketball player sketch chickens? He was trying to draw fowls.
What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.
Why don't oysters share their pearls? Because they're shellfish.
What is a golfer's favorite letter? Tee.
Why did the football team go to the bank? To get their quarterback.
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
Why are frogs so good at basketball? Because they always make jump shots.
What did the baseball glove say to the ball? "Catch you later!"
Why did the golfer change his socks? Because he had a hole in one.
Why can't you play soccer with pigs? They hog the ball.
What runs around a soccer field but never moves? A fence.
Why did the chicken get a penalty card? For fowl play.
Why do basketball players love cookies? Because they can dunk them.
What do you call a person who walks back and forth screaming one minute, then sits down and weeps the next? A basketball coach.
Why do golfers carry an extra pair of trousers? In case they get a hole in one.
What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver? A bad golfer goes: WHACK! "Dang!" A bad skydiver goes: "Dang!" WHACK!
Why did the golfer embrace his caddy? It was a hold in one.
How do you get a squirrel to like you? Act like a nut.
What is the best way to serve a tennis ball? On a platter.
What do you call a girl standing in the middle of a tennis court? Annette.
Why are fish not good at tennis? They are afraid of the net.
Which insect is good at baseball? The fly.
Why do birds fly south? Because it's too far to walk.
Why did the cookie go to the hospital? He felt crummy.
What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta.
What do you call a fish without eyes? Fsh.
What do you call a can opener that doesn't work? A can't opener.
Why did the bicycle fall over? It was two tired.
What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time.
What do you call a factory that makes okay products? A satisfactory.
What do you call a snowman with a six pack? An abdominal snowman.
What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All the fans left.